Learning to love our imperfections may bring to mind the title of a Tom Cruise movie – Mission Impossible. Certainly, one of the challenges we face in our spiritual evolution is learning to love ourselves just as we are, right now, no exceptions. This, by-the-way, is not ego. Self-love is developed through self-acceptance by way of self-awareness. Self-awareness is part of the 5th Era of Awareness. The veil is thinning. Now is a good time to discover and appreciate that beautiful human part of us that is wonderfully unique.
Penny Coté is a spiritual adviser, healer, and teacher. She is the creator of The Lighter Side program and author of the book Masterpiece. You can find Penny at www.thelighterside.ca.
The psychiatrist Carl Jung first introduced the term Shadow Self to characterize these imperfect human attributes. Dr. Jung describes the shadow as everything in us that is unconscious, repressed, undeveloped, and denied; the dark – and the light – rejected facets of our being. Plainly put, our shadow is our blind spot.
The shadow is an archetype. An archetype represents typical human consciousness. Everyone has a shadow, and a rendezvous with our shadow is essential for self-awareness. We cannot learn about ourselves if we do not learn about our shadow. We cannot change what we do not recognize. Certainly, we can try to avoid it, but know this, until we make friends with our shadow, we will continue to draw to us these same attributes, mirrored in others.
Recognizing Our Shadow
We can easily recognize our shadow by observing what it is we project onto others. We know we are projecting when someone else’s actions affect us, when we buy into them emotionally, and when we have a dramatic response. The same is true for positive attributes, like being effusive and overly complimentary. (I know I’ve done it.)
What now, you may ask? Here are a few points I find helpful.
1. Admit our humanness and the potential to have all the attributes humans can have.
· If it pushes our buttons, we own it. If it has no particular affect on us, an unemotional observation, it is not likely a shadow trait.
2. Embrace all parts of ourselves. Acknowledge that there were reasons why we repressed these behaviours in the past. Now we realize those reasons are no longer compelling.
· Awareness gives us an opportunity to act, to correct or to enhance our behaviours.
3. Know that there is neither shame nor pride in these newly identified personal attributes. Simply acknowledge their existence.
· Once we understand that something is blocking us, standing in the way of our preferred life path, then we’ve identified an opportunity for a course adjustment.
4. Take responsibility for ourselves and our actions.
· Making excuses for our actions may be indicating a shadow characteristic not yet understood.
5. Recognize that our shadow can only be seen by shining a light on it. There is positive, undeveloped, unconscious potential in our shadow.
· All human experience is the result of contrast. Without contrast there is no creative desire.
Appreciate that we each hold the key to our own well-being. As we grow in awareness, possibilities flourish and every step in the right direction works miracles. Discerning our shadow gives wings to our lives. Conscious choice is empowering. Peace and happiness depend on acknowledging and accepting all of who we are.
Listen to your heart and be gentle with yourself. There is nothing here to fear – quite the opposite. It is in our darkness that we find our light, in our imperfections that we find love.
Espavo,
Penny
Penny Coté is a spiritual adviser, healer, and teacher. She is the creator of The Lighter Side program and author of the book Masterpiece. You can find Penny at www.thelighterside.ca.