I resisted reading Marie Kondo’s best-selling book, The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up. I’m skeptical of organizing schemes. Also, “tidying up” sounds too much like housework. Yet, I kept hearing good things about the book, and when NPR called it one of the most important books of 2014, I gave it a try.
Kondo’s advice is deceptively simple: Keep things not because you might use, wear, or read them; not because they’re new and nifty; not because they were a gift. Keep them because they bring you joy. Spread all your clothes on the floor. Hold each item one by one. See how it makes you feel. If that feeling is joy, keep it. If it isn’t, give it away. Do the same for books, papers, odds and ends, and mementos. In the end, what do you have? A house full of things that make you joyful.
A few days after finishing Kondo’s book, I drove to the Goodwill donation center with a carload of clothes and books. I’m still working on tidying up, but already my life feels lighter.
Of course, I then had to think of how Kondo’s method applies to writing—because everything in my life gets down to that.What projects, processes, thoughts, and techniques bring joy to my writing life and which ones do not? How can I hold onto the things that bring me joy and rid myself of those that don’t?
I was troubled. Many of the things we do in our writing lives are not pleasant. Submitting work makes many writers anxious. Some projects bring up fear or sadness. Most lead to a certain amount of frustration. Does that mean we should stop doing those things? Hardly.
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I was on the verge of deciding that Kondo’s notions—so helpful where it comes to clothes, books, and knickknacks—doesn’t work in the realm of writing. Then I realized I was making a serious error. I was mistaking joy for comfort, ease, and pleasure. Joy is none of those things.
Joy is not comfort. The work that makes us uncomfortable is often the exact work we should be doing. Discomfort is where we learn and grow. We should explore it, not avoid it.
Joy is not ease. Sometimes, the words simply flow and we finish a piece quickly. It feels great. But that sweet feeling doesn’t compare to the exhilaration of doing work that challenges us, makes us think, and pushes us to new realms. Easy is fine. Hard is better.
Joy is not pleasure. I once asked students what would bring them joy in their writing lives. A disappointing number wrote things like, “Getting my novel published,” or “Seeing my story in Glimmer Train.” Those things do make us feel good. The flush of success is delicious. It is also brief. We are soon waiting for another success and another brief burst of pleasure. There’s nothing wrong with pleasure, but it isn’t joy.
So if joy isn’t comfort, ease, or pleasure, what is it? Here is the definition I use: Joy is the knowledge that you are following your path with conviction and authenticity. With this definition come several qualities.
Joy is deep. The pleasure of success is superficial. The reason it doesn’t last is that it doesn’t sink into your core or become part of you. True joy dwells in your heart. It takes root there.
Joy is energizing. It gives you more than a brief burst of energy. It brings a long-lasting vigor and stamina.
Joy feels right. Not just “nice” or “enjoyable” but right.
Joy is lasting. Because joy lives deep inside of you, becoming part of the way you think and live, it is immune to the ups and downs of life. Rejections and disappointments still hurt, but they don’t derail you—and they certainly don’t make you stop writing.
These days, I think a lot about what brings real joy into my writing life. I’m discarding the negative thoughts, bad habits, and poor practices that drain me and embracing the things that bring me joy. It is a slow process requiring care and discernment, but it is making my writing life immeasurably better.
Beautifully put and such a great reminder, Jill, about the difference between transient pleasure and the core nature of true passion and energy for our work. Will share on FB.
Thanks, AJ. I’m pleased to hear this post resonated with you. It’s an issue I think about a lot. It’s so easy to confuse pleasure for joy.
I love this! I picked up my copy of Simple Abundance when I entered the mid-life fray. I was struck then by her suggestion to go through your house and eliminate what doesn’t bring you joy and replace it with something that does. Like you, I did some of that, but it never occurred to me to apply it to my writing! I appreciate the further clarification you offered, because it is a different sort of thing. I’m always reluctant to throw out any old writing and yet you are so right that we can get buried in it, lose our focus and even some darn good writing! I am going to try your suggestion to see what I can do to find some focus and clarity in my world. Thank you!!
I’m so pleased you like this post, Dorothy. As I mention in my post, it was challenging going through my work, but I ended up feeling very good about cleaning things up!