Postcard from the Pilgrimage # 2

Last week, I wrote a little about Michael Krasny’s book Spiritual Envy: An Agnostic’s Quest. In that post, I wrote that Krasny and I were “coming from the same part of Limbo.”But later, as I reread the post, I thought, that’s not right. Limbo suggests a nothingness, an emptiness, a place where there is neither meaning nor hope. That’s not where I am at all. Instead, I feel like I’m on a very exciting path. I’m not sure what to believe right now, but that’s okay.

My path is one of questioning, uncertainty, and doubt. But it’s also a path of energy, potential, and possibility. Like most adventures, this journey isn’t laid out in neat steps. Nothing is guaranteed on the questioner’s path. Nothing is mapped.

Krasny writes about being jealous of believers and, last week, I said I was, too. But in many ways, I’m not. I know the place of belief is comfortable and safe. I sometimes think how peaceful it would feel to be free from the perils of ambiguity and confusion that us searchers have to deal with. But being sure also means staying put and shutting the door. It closes off possibilities. I’d rather be open to change and challenge.

I’d like to keep traveling for awhile on this path of questioning. I like to think of myself as a spiritual explorer. It’s not that I don’t have a spiritual path—that would be Limbo for sure—but that doubt and uncertainly are my path.