Using Writing to Find Your Personal Truths

As I’ve written before on this blog, anger is one of my negative emotions of choice. As far back as I remember, I’ve struggled with feelings of anger at the world around me and a tendency to get easily and intensely frustrated.Fortunately, in recent years, much of that struggle has eased. I move through life more pleasantly these days than I ever have before, thanks to a lot of spiritual and emotional work. One of the things that has helped is to stop negating my anger (“I’m just not going to feel this way!”), to quit blaming myself (“I shouldn’t be angry.Anger is wrong.”) and to stop thinking that I can simply replace anger with so-called “positive thinking.” Instead, I’ve learned to use my anger to identify my personal truths, thereby figuring out not only the source of my negative feelings, but ways I can make the world (and my life) better.

In my book, Writing as a Sacred Path, I include this exercise using writing as a way to work with anger and identify personal truths. If you ever struggle with frustration, anger, or annoyance, try this, and see how it can put things in perspective.

1. Keep a record of your reactions to things that bother you.  Carry a small notebook with you for a week. Whenever you find yourself feeling annoyed or angry, write down what happened to make you feel that way. It might be when you hear a politician supporting something you disagree with—or it might simply be when the guy who delivers your pizza is gruff. Just jot down a quick note and, if you have time, a word or two about how the event made you feel.

2. Read your reactions mindfully. At the end of the week, sit down with your list and read it carefully several times. If  you wish, write the items down on a clean piece of paper to help you organize your thoughts. Read them with the awareness that each one of these events represents a truth for you. Even your annoyance with something as trivial as a brusque pizza delivery man reflects a belief that people should be kind to each other or that those working with the public have a duty to be courteous.

3. Identify your truths. After studying your list carefully, identify several basic truths it reveals. Look for patterns. For example, one writer found that she’d felt upset when she saw a dog locked in a car, read an article about mistreated farm animals, and overheard someone say they had their cat “euthanized” because they couldn’t afford to keep her. Although she’d always known that she enjoyed the presence of animals, this exercise made her realize that compassion toward our animal kin is one of the fundamental truths of her life. Sometimes you might find only a single reference to an issue on your list, with a particular strength or intensity. That, too, may be a sign of your truth.

Another way to clarify your truths, is to write a statement about each of the events you recorded. Describe the event at the top of a sheet of paper. Below it, complete these statements:

This is wrong because . . .

This can be corrected by . . . OR The right way to do this would be to . .

To help bring about this change, I can. . .

Write as many completions for the statement as you wish, then go on to the next event. This can help uncover some of the beliefs and values that lie at the core of our lives.

4. Work from positive responses. This exercise can also be done in reverse. Instead of taking note of times when you feel angry, you can write down times when someone’s actions or speech makes you feel especially good. Then complete these sentences. Then complete the exercise as you would for the bad.

However you go about this exercise, it will give you a clearer sense of what your truths are and what role you play in bringing about change in the world.