The Top Ten Signs Your Writing Career is Circling the Drain

How is your writing career doing? It can be difficult to tell. What are the benchmarks of a successful career for a writer? Whom should we compare ourselves to? What should we expect?

The Ninja Writer is here to help. To aid you in determining the health of your career, we have come up with a quick guide. Here are: The Top Ten Signs Your Writing Career is Circling the Drain.

# 10. Your bar tab is bigger than your last royalty payment.

# 9. Your editor has just sent you an ad for culinary school.

# 8. Oprah’s show has called—to demand that you “cease and desist” from sending her copies of your novel.

# 7. Your latest gig: fortune cookies.

# 6. Your agent wants to borrow $100 for rent.

# 5. Your publishing company has just been the subject of a hostile take-over by Big Larry’s Plumbing Service.

# 4. Walmart has a special: Your book free with every purchase of flip-flops or beef jerky.

# 3. The only people at your last reading were two Japanese tourists who thought they were going to see “that guy on TV who sells Sham Wows.”

# 2. Publishers Weekly praises your latest book for its “deeply moving and profoundly powerful font.”

And the # 1 sign your writing career is circling the drain: Your Amazon sales rank has more digits than the distance to Pluto.

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